Thy Kingdom Come Stay Right Where It Is
"Dear Father, I ask that you keep Jesus right where He is so that my life down here won't be interrupted. I've got everything exactly the way I like it. Don't restore the Earth to it's original pristine condition. Don't remove the curse. Don't end poverty and hunger. Don't put an end to death, disease, cancer and pain. Just keep things going the way they are because everything in MY life is just great. It will all work out in the end anyway, just so that the end isn't in my lifetime. So again, I ask, please just keep things going the way they are. I'm not in any hurry to be reunited with loved ones who have passed away. I'm doing just fine without them. I don't miss them. I'm real mature about stuff like that.
I worked too hard to get where I am in life. I've got a great job, an awesome marriage, two wonderful children and we all go to the most awesome church. Everything is just great! So when I say the Lord's Prayer, you won't mind if I skip the part where it says "Thy Kingdom Come" because I don't need your Kingdom to come. Others might, but oh well... maybe if they were better Christians they wouldn't need your Kingdom so much. They'll die off anyway and when they do, they'll go to Heaven like all of us. So it all works out anyway doesn't it?
So don't worry about coming back and setting up the Kingdom, instead just keep receiving the souls of dead Christians into Heaven like you've been doing for thousands of years so I don't have to pay any attention to the other 40% of the Bible which talks about your 2nd coming. I don't have time for that. My daughter Jill has a piano recital tomorrow and what we really need, Lord, is for you to make sure she does well. She has been practicing for 7 weeks on that piano piece and if she makes a single mistake, it'll devastate her self-esteem. My Uncle Charley needs you to get him that promotion so he can buy that new boat he promised to take us on when he got a raise. That's more important, isn't it?
You understand don't you? I mean, I'm just not ready for you to come and take everything over. You're intervention would screw up my perfect little life. So please stay where you are and tell all those other Christians who keep talking about Bible Prophecy to shut-up!! They're a bunch of false prophets anyway. Sure, I won't read the Bible to see if what they say is true, but I won't tell them that. I'll keep posting John 3:16 on my Facebook wall to look spiritual while telling other Christians to be careful when discussing Bible Prophecy, a subject I know absolutely NOTHING about, but I can tell them to be careful. Right?
I mean, after all, if you came back, you couldn't save anyone else could you? So it's a good thing to stay in Heaven and leave everything down here the way it is. Not everyone has heard the gospel yet. Yes! That's it!! That's what I meant to say all along Lord!!! These other Christians who keep saying that Jesus is coming soon, they don't care about the lost, do they Lord? They don't care about anyone but themselves, do they Lord? So Lord, please stay in Heaven as long as you can so that everyone can hear the gospel. And tell all those Christians who look forward to your appearing to stop it.
In Jesus Name, Amen."
I worked too hard to get where I am in life. I've got a great job, an awesome marriage, two wonderful children and we all go to the most awesome church. Everything is just great! So when I say the Lord's Prayer, you won't mind if I skip the part where it says "Thy Kingdom Come" because I don't need your Kingdom to come. Others might, but oh well... maybe if they were better Christians they wouldn't need your Kingdom so much. They'll die off anyway and when they do, they'll go to Heaven like all of us. So it all works out anyway doesn't it?
So don't worry about coming back and setting up the Kingdom, instead just keep receiving the souls of dead Christians into Heaven like you've been doing for thousands of years so I don't have to pay any attention to the other 40% of the Bible which talks about your 2nd coming. I don't have time for that. My daughter Jill has a piano recital tomorrow and what we really need, Lord, is for you to make sure she does well. She has been practicing for 7 weeks on that piano piece and if she makes a single mistake, it'll devastate her self-esteem. My Uncle Charley needs you to get him that promotion so he can buy that new boat he promised to take us on when he got a raise. That's more important, isn't it?
You understand don't you? I mean, I'm just not ready for you to come and take everything over. You're intervention would screw up my perfect little life. So please stay where you are and tell all those other Christians who keep talking about Bible Prophecy to shut-up!! They're a bunch of false prophets anyway. Sure, I won't read the Bible to see if what they say is true, but I won't tell them that. I'll keep posting John 3:16 on my Facebook wall to look spiritual while telling other Christians to be careful when discussing Bible Prophecy, a subject I know absolutely NOTHING about, but I can tell them to be careful. Right?
I mean, after all, if you came back, you couldn't save anyone else could you? So it's a good thing to stay in Heaven and leave everything down here the way it is. Not everyone has heard the gospel yet. Yes! That's it!! That's what I meant to say all along Lord!!! These other Christians who keep saying that Jesus is coming soon, they don't care about the lost, do they Lord? They don't care about anyone but themselves, do they Lord? So Lord, please stay in Heaven as long as you can so that everyone can hear the gospel. And tell all those Christians who look forward to your appearing to stop it.
In Jesus Name, Amen."
